Layout: Monday, June 22, 2009
random
This morning i had somewhat of an onset of Asthma. Its my Sister's birthday today. I feel bad not being able to celebrate it with her. I tried to hold the Asthma back as far as i could but in the end i cried because i just suddenly felt like a burden cause it was such a happy day and i had to have an asthma attack.
When mummy asked me why i just didn't want to explain anything. I just wanted my sister to go to her fav K box and sing so i wasn't reluctant to go there just that i wasn't feeling very well so maybe i didn't look too happy.
But this incident did teach me something . That i should stop taking everything as my fault and don't feel as if i'm responsible for everything. Cause i'm not. Like today. I shouldn't have cried. I DIDN'T ask for an attack. And the late night sleeping that might have caused it? I dunno. I guess i was thinking about tons of stuff bahs. HAHA. I had to sort it out if not i cannot sleep.
I realised one thing. Only i can help myself. If i was to know what was my inner self i had to search for it myself. And i didn't have a choice. Because i am such a person. I need to find out my inner voice.
Sure i enjoy each present moment and enjoy my sweet treasure of past memories but sometimes things happen and i get to know myself more and more. And then i realise there's so much more about me i don't know. I am my biggest mystery.
It feels sweet to be alive. I should't cry. There are many things to learn. Like to learn to be stronger. I'm growing each day. Learning to be stronger. Someday i'll learn when to keep my tears and when to let it out. Someday i shall find my balance=D
Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 4:51 PM