Layout: Wednesday, June 10, 2009
treasure=D
Happy cause i got to pray to Buddha and although i wasn't really focused, i'm still happy i went. During the prayer i had headaches and some breadthing difficulties. Really wanted to go back to the hotel. HAHA. but i guess all these are obstacles. Training for the mind and faith.
Anyways feeling terrible about the what i saw. Saw a lot of suffering which i dun intend to rewrite it here. Because most people already noe what kind of suffering i 'm talking about. But seeing it first hand so near to you is something of a novel experience. Staying at P2 , near a residential area, you could really see the difference.
Dirty cramped and smelly alleys and run down dirty old buildings. Polluted brown water trickled down the streets and the smell of petroleum filled the air. Beggars dotted the streets and it seemed like it was part of their city landscape. The hotel seemed like a safety haven for me then. It was like looking at all the suffering at ur doorstep while sitting on a some comfory sofa.
There was a sense of helplessness and sadness that kinda consumed me those few days. I dreaded walking down the roads not because it was smelly or dirty, but cux of how bad living conditions could be. Guess its normal there but it doesn seem normal to me at all.
Beggars were seriously cripped.One even lied on the pavement near a highway. Half of this body wasn't even there. I guess it might be a syndicate or something cux like he couldn't have lied like that on the ground like that himself. Someone prob put him them to beg. He was dirty and unkempt. Holding a bowl up for people to drop some coins into it. I reckon the money doesn go to him but the syndicate that prob gives him only enough to survive. Just a mere existence for him to be used as a tool to garner sympathy so that people would give him some money. If he doesn get enough money he may be brutally beaten.
He also has parents and a family. People who care for him. He may be from a loving family. Maybe he was kidnapped and his poor parents cannot find him. Maybe they miss him. Maybe he was sold by his parents to the syndicate, There is just too many maybes.
I didn quite see him when i walked along the pavement. It was dark and the pavement was relatively narrow. Many people bypassed him. Some gave him some money, some tripped over him and just quickly walked off. It must have felt terrible to be ignored. No one bothers about your existence . Some pity you for that moment and then forget about you. Nevertheless he begs and there is the will to live on what i see as a meaningless life.
But life is precious isn't it. Water finds its own level just like every man finds his worth and place in life. Understands his contributions to the world.
I almost tripped on this beggar and i ran. It was a painful sight to see. I was silent for the rest of the journey.Either that or i didn't know what i was saying anyway.
The next day i went back to the same pavement, the beggar wasn't there anymore.
The rest of the days i saw more beggars. Mostly handicapped. Like the legs or hands weren't even there anymore. It was such a common sight it became distrubing.Children were begging. People were laying a thin sheet and selling cheap stuff.Some screaming their heads off, some on wheelchairs , some just looking dazed,
7.30pm- overhead bridge . A mother was carrying her child. asleep, looking sick. It was cold and windy. My dad gave my sister some money to donate.
11plus pm- roadside. We were shopping for clothes. But my mind wasn't really there. Saw that hey! the make shift roadside stalls at night was all located near lamposts and i remembered seeing all those dark roadside stalls on the way back to th hotel.I realised that they used
the light from the lamposts to light up their stalls! how clever, but also how poor they are.
Its been 2 days since i came back. The helplesssness is still there. Nagging at me. Dun really noe what i can offer. Its hard to just forget what i saw. Jin hao say vv fast forget de. Wun sad tt long. Wow. imgaine how short can one's emphaty be.its quite true.U can help that person once den forget him.feel saint for that moment. But u can't really make a difference i guess.. After the toil of exams comes on i prob really nt feel anything liao. ( Life goes on). Its sad to noe one will always be forgotton after a while.
Feel like so sad. Though its not my fault. Walked a lot this trip. Wanted to see for myself... see more. Not sit inside the taxi n see nothing. Save money n my family from traffic jam 2=P
study hard ba. So that a difference can be made=D
Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 11:58 PM