her sweet memory was written @ 1:23 AM
Believe in us
よこそ (Yokoso)[*] Be sincere [^^] Always smile from within [♥ ] Believe in miracles 信じるひと ひと (shinjiro hito)§tëphänï£ aka honeydew 18 years old 31 Aug 1990 Singapore Poly Diploma in Accountancy  Helping people Shopping Blogging Understanding life Hanging out with friends Swimming Bowling Going to the beach Seeing the sunset To be a joy to be ard To be a better person To be always happi To be more outspoken To get As for MST To be able to keep my frenx in poly:) To be able to keep mi existing frenx For daddy to watch his diet To be able to have a good time as CSCC sub com member LOLs To be able to c those ard me happi To be able to make a difference in ppl's life Be surrounded by ppl who love me n who i love To have a smooth sailing sucessful carreer To give back to society when i retire To love myself more Uniquely me♥  The one and only Stephanie The best and most cheery girl in the world cannot be seen or even touched but can be felt with the truest heart. Precious gems♥ Amanda Chailing Jeremy Jolyn Qiu Xuan Samantha Shirui Vivian Jia Ying Kerrin Yuqii Tiffany Agnes jocelyn Markkie Mandy Pei yi Jie Daphne Julia Mummy Xin Yi Koh Jun Xian Daphne Da Jie Mayling Ziyan Tsai ting Your Footprints♥ Her Nolstalgia♥ February 2008♥ March 2008♥ April 2008♥ May 2008♥ June 2008♥ July 2008♥ August 2008♥ September 2008♥ October 2008♥ November 2008♥ December 2008♥ January 2009♥ February 2009♥ March 2009♥ April 2009♥ May 2009♥ June 2009♥ July 2009♥ August 2009♥ September 2009♥ Her applause♥  Layout: Nicole Codes: Damien and TCC Images: Tang Guo Wu & Amelia Materials: Lovelycore Inspirations: Agnes & Fang Min♥ Hosts: Photobucket(?) & BlogSkins(?)
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her sweet memory was written @ 1:23 AMMonday, August 10, 2009
Friday outing!
Went out with Koh Jun Xian and May Ling. Jun Xian supposed to help out for our GEMS skit but due to unforseem circumstances it was postponed to next week Damn happy cux we weren't prepared. But anyway my GEMS group members 5 people 4 people from Accounts one. So we discussed a bit about business law and about the different class cultures. Come to think of it. My class still da best la. HAHA. LAWLS. Miss Rachel left the classroom open so May Ling Jun Xian and I hanged around the classroom for a while. The movie was due to start at about 6.45pm. So we chatted. Dunno what time we left school for bugis. They're sweet la. Bugis near my house. =D Thoughtful of them. So May Ling and i brought Jun Xian shopping. Which he seldom did. HAHA. and then realised a lot of things while walking around the shopping malls and bugis street. May ling looked very pretty that day. I like her top! But they don't sell it anymore( We went to Bugis street to try find it) So the movie was nice.The title is UP.I like the movie , it was touching. It encompass a lot of emotion. And many values. but i didn't cry. it wasn't that i didn't feel anything but maybe i've come to accept certain things=D After movie went ot Tian Tian Huo Guo. Food was ok la. Ma la tang nice! HAHA. but nice company. We all glued to MING ZHONG ZHU DING WO AI NI. nice show. Shd watch tt one i gt cry. HAHA. kk update soon. Labels: =D
her sweet memory was written @ 11:59 PMSunday, July 26, 2009
The wind against my face=D
SP can be really nice at times. Its windy here- at the engineering block( Our hangout section) . The cool breeze is really luring me to sleep. It seems to be singing a soft and almost inaudible lullabye... I finally bought a shampoo suitable for my hair type. Finally an end to oily looking hair RIGHT AFTER washing my hair. Worth the nice smell and refreshed feeling. The cost? about $7. Its worth making life smell better right? =D Last night i was having a heart to heart talk with my parents. I'm so glad i finally got it off my chest. I'm so sorry papa and mama.. i 'm not really brillant and all these years you gave me an education and i repay you with such lousy results=(.You noe when i first got my results i wasn't unhappy. I just felt so sorry that you couldn have high hopes on me like what other parents can dream thier kids to be. Lawyers la, doctors la , accountants la. Haha. next time hope you have a smarter kid kk=D But you didn't scold me. After failing cost accounts at 30 marks, you said you understand that Maths and accountancy don't go with me. You asked me not to be too hard on myself. For the first time i saw u were proud that i tried. Struggling through since secondary 3. Especially with Maths. You said you couldn;t understand that after trying so hard i still wasn't able to produce my tutorial. You asked me to ask people for help. And i'm lost i dunno where to start. But i guess things are FINALLY starting to make sense to me. Why is it so hard to pay attention in lecture and tutorials? Dad you just kept quiet cux u always knew i suck at such stuff. Guess we've gone a long way to accept this.=D That i won;t be some career woman. So i told you the truth of my plans- if i cannot go to university to take FASS i would join NIE to be a teacher. Both you and mum just smiled. You said you were proud of my decision and that's all i really need now=D. Shall study really hard for taxation=D And pack my table after thur. Labels: =D
her sweet memory was written @ 4:13 PMSaturday, July 25, 2009
LALA=D
Many stuff at home. Make my heart a bit heavy. Theres a knot in my heart Been silent all friday. Didn't seem to hear anything. Finally understand cost a bit better. hehe. Class was hyper. But i wasn't listening to the joke. Still it was nice to see the class filled with laughter yes? I'm such a blessed girl I still can hear the laughter of my classmates^^ Thinking of my sister my deeply respected uncle(almost like a father to me), my mum my dad my aunt(not direct) who passed on. About how i am going to face the days further down which seems so tough. The many things which i wun write here=D Sometimes i feel tired at everything that happens but hey! time to stand up and get going. Get going get going! Today woke up with a smile. Life is still beautiful in many ways. I thought of the people i love. The people i treasure. The people who are around me. My sister. I really love her very much. I'll never give up on her! Dear sister you must never never give up on yourself. Please don't misplace the love i have for you. I'm praying that you won't trail down the path of destruction. Everyone gets tired. Don't blame our parents you putting you down. They are very stressed. They argue too. Dear sister there is many things you don't understand. Be more sensible. Everyone is facing a lot of pressure especially our parents. Theres still a long line of worries.U noe? Grandma and many more ppl to take care of. Dear Uncle _____ though you will never read this but i hope hope hope i will see you come down from the staircase once again. Want to see u full of life again. 10 years already! Time flies! When i was just nine, i remember the hope you gave me then. The tears i cried alone seem to evaporate into smokes of smiles when you assured me daddy would be fine. Somehow i feel sad that you are unwell now. Because i miss seeing ur smile. After doing all u can for others... i just like seeing u happy from the sidewalk because u are always so busy with business and family i rather wish u all the best from aside. U may not remember the girl who u gave hope to 10 years ago. But all i want is for u walk down the stairs like before and be received with the love of ur family u love so much. =X=~! Mugging taxation the whole day. Classifiying tax deductibles and taxable haha. read thru 2xs le. Hope i will do well for tax. At least pass. =X=! Mentoring was fun. haha. Met Sharon after discussing FF project. around 1 pm. Next wed shd be mugging tax alone bahs. haha. Posted to Qifa. HAHA. Had this feedback thing to write after the session. write a bit too much. HAHAHA. next time i going to write 1 line only. LOL. But anyways my mentee was rather easy to teach. From 1st impression a nice and pleasant girl.Thoughtful too i guess. Luckily no one hear me when i teach her. Cux as usual i'm too honest. My strength and weakness. =D I was like hey u dun like maths? Maths is tough ya. Me also dun like maths but hey with practice it ain't that bad. You must do your best ya? Hmm you look tired? You ended school at 11 plus? I ended mine at 10am! i understand u r tired. When you cannot tahan tell me ok?I can always talk to you about other things. Hey i think ur goals are reasonable eh. I'm proud of you. HAHA. I really am. She aimed 60 plus for almost everything except malay. And i said. I'm sorry i can't teach u malay. cux i dunno She just laughed. She's such a sweet girl=D My mentee was the sort who wouldn't tell you if she needed to pee or if she didn't understand anything. She was the guai guai sort who like dolphins cux they r friendly. Something i wasn't expecting. I was expecting a ZHEN SHI BU GUAI type but no eh. So you can imagine my surprise. Another surprise was when her friend who refused to speak suddenly talked a lot.( She just handed me an envelope. den threw a big book of photos on my lap.)Especially since we were at the same table. I had tried to talk to the girl but she didn't respond too. Her mentor did feel lost at what to do with her. i can emphatize with that cux my reading buddy in the past was like that. But its ok that girl's mentor!( I can rmb ur face bt nt ur name PS) Man Man lai jiu hao=D she wil slowly open up de. But maybe really very slow la. <3 Anyway she was talking a lot about her family to me. Telling me the stories of each picture. And then suddenly she said.:My parents are divorced. Feeling: stunned tio. So i asked her: Do you still see your parents. she just nodded her head. Maybe that's why she so quiet. My mentee was yawning away. HAHA. Tiring to be a monitress?she said gt 3 boys in her class very noisy hard to control. Den she a bit stressed. When u become older small problems like this seem so cute. =X=~! Time to go home. Didn't really noe wad the time was. Sharon was walking another way. She GOT STRAIGHT BUS HOME. win already. HAHA. sharon jia you! hope u do well in SP! So bused back with other mentors. Realised YanLing is a nice girl. =D damn cute her siblings one prettier than the other one. LOL. Henry was talking abt all sorts of scandals in mentoring. HAHA. ah yo zhen shi de. Bt it was gd entertainment since i'm the damn busybody type. Still not as many scandal as Come seek couple club. HAHA. =x=~! Did FF tutorials when i got home. 8pm. managed to do eh. Wa. Surprising eh. Jia you steph! Sam did the presentation on a question that i found was different from the rest n did catch me a bit off guard. But later on suddenly gt it le. Cux i paid attention. Den later dunno wad muz use algebra de! omg. Imagine. How can the people in my class be so smart? In the end i dun understand wad he is saying. But ok la. Teacher de i get it. HAHA. =x=~! Hui fen finally got her letter of approval. =D she posted to East spring=D. Wa damn happy. If she didn't get the letter i think i wud die from self blame. Shes my bestie (0ne of) imgaine if she was unhappy i wud be too. Wa fen! abt 7 yrs le ya! haha. Finally FAITH IS THE LIGHT THAT SHINES IN YOUR HEART WHEN ITS DARK ALL AROUND! HAHA. Labels: =D
her sweet memory was written @ 9:29 PMSaturday, July 18, 2009
hehe!
 Finally update after a long time. I'm thinking: Life throws us many adversities and challenges. You fall and you climb up again. You get hurt and you recover. You love and be loved. You cry for and be cried for and you laugh because of and another laughs because you. And so many things in life make u smile. The papers say people who smile and get happy over small things and make others happiness as theirs tend to overcome and better face adversities. hey that's really true. The state of mind is a wonderful thing isn't it. Its so within your control. You don;t have to be unrealistically optimistic butits the angle at which you choose to view things and smile cux you didn't lose the lesson. HAHA. I just love this baby picture i got from an email. Isn't she sweet? Hehe=D So pinky! ^^ I wud dress my daughter that way IF i get the chance. WAHHAA. Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 9:35 PMTuesday, June 30, 2009
Focus!
In the end i am my biggest enemy. My own greastest saviour. From here i needa focus. Study. Don't waste my poly education. Even though i choose accounts cos of my parents but they had my best interests at heart and i made my choice. I 'll have to stick through! Jia you^^! Last update: Ehto got into mentoring. Feeling: Surprised. HAHAHHA Cux i didn't noe they sent the mail to my SP account and i went to check my MSN account. Missed the sch selection thing. Jia Qi not gg liao. Yuqi nv go interview. So i'm gonna have to start all over again. LOL. Daph joined another CCA ( somehwat like mentoring de. Dunno wad ). Mayling hear interview sian diao liao. HAHAHA. But that's not the point. Happy to give to the community! ^^ Hopes I will have a fun time as a mentoring member. LOLS. Hope it is worth it man! Cux yr 2 liao. Studies more impt than ever. Whee!! STEPHANIE WHEN R U GOING TO EXERCISE HAHHAHA. Labels: =D
her sweet memory was written @ 3:20 PMWednesday, June 24, 2009
Don't judge me!
I've come to realise why is it that although my parents love my sister and me a lot, why do we always feel stressed up around them. Its cause of judgement. People always tend to judge others including myself. My parents judge me from their point of view. They don't understand me and they never will but they love me a lot. They judge me for my feelings my actions and my thoughts. My mum always ask me to be myself with them but i am always unable to. I asked myself why many a times and now i seem to catch a glimpse of why. This is because they judge who i am. And they have never truely accepted me for who i am. I 've always understood its natural for people to judge others but i guess i always thought that being the most true to my feelings with my family is the best but maybe its not.Cause maybe to me their judgement is weird to me cause i felt the whole world can judge you but at least ur little haven (family) shouldn't. Cause i'm more real with my friends. And this is cause my really close friends don't judge me that much. At least that's what i believe. Maybe its an innate characteristic that parents will be critical of their children for the sake of improving and re improving one's character. But i suppose the case with my family is that we are really a family of people with ultra different personalities. My Dad is prob a mix of Mel and Chol and my mum Prob a Phleg, my sis prob a mel and me sanchol. Ok maybe its just me lol. HAHA. Its so hard cux they're always judging me. I can't cry( kena scolded) can't laugh( dad too serious) can't be myself so i'm just quiet at home. I dun really like being at home with my family cause it just reminds me of how not me i am at home. So i usually am in my room at home. ( usually sleeping). I noe its very unfilial of me. But i'm trying hard mum n dad! Maybe as hard as u are too! Spending time with u guys can be very tiring to me cause its a mix feeling. Like i don't know u but i love you very much. And i see all you do as a parent i noe its not easy! And your love for me and sis is something i prob will only understand when i have my own kids.But then again. You have taught me many things. Your good characteristics that me a San dun have WAHAHA. You taught me to learn on my own two feet. You taught me to struggle with my emotions. You taught me by conduct to accept others because of your say only but didn really mean it acceptance of me. I have learnt to see others for the person inside them. Instead of using purely judgement. So many things to learn in life! I guess i really want to improve my relationship with my family members and i really do love them=D But i guess theres still a long long way man! I really want my parents to see my strong points as well. Instead of always seeing the bad.I couldn't undertsand my dad perfectionsim(even a holiday also must according to schedule de. Chill man!Work den on schedule, holiday just run ard lah! SO STRESSED FOR WHAT!!) and his anti socialness and my sister's hatred for almost everything. Now i guess is still don't really. But my Gems teacher taught me about different personalities and when i put my family members into each one and try to understand them it makes it a whole lot easier to see it from their point of view! No wonder MS Rachel said it helped her a lot! Now i see it from their eyes, it makes them more human to me i guess. I suppose asking a Mel to accept a San child and be a hair pulling experience huh? So i've learnt to be Chol at home. Isn't a bad thing though. (I'm a high san n high Chol, 53,50)Guess they think i'm a scary monster. WAHAHHA. I wish you could open your heart to see who i am. Don't just say. You don't mean what you say. Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 8:39 PMMonday, June 22, 2009
Where do i go from here?
Dad: (Looks at me) Its been a long time since i saw you studying with so much enthusiasim and vigor. Me( thinking): Its been a long time since i did something i like. Dad: Accounting has never really been what you wanted from day 1 am i right? Actually u can't really do accounts cause XXX and i'm not saying you can;t.. but u'll struggle.. and be careful. The rest is history, HAHA. Truth is i joined accounting because i thought you believed i could do it. I know u are convincing yourself that ur daughter can. But too bad she's not really for that kinda line and neither is that her interest. Sorry. I got through year 1 faring borderline with a ending GPA of 3.2. Comforted that i struggled through not only with the syllabus but also with the fact that i joined accounts knowing that's not where i wanna go. Took me a long time to realise that i shouldn't join things cause of other's opinion and confidence in me. It should be for me . I should live my life for myself essentially. Even though i know i have to consider other's feelings. But ultimately its me. Only i can determine what i want the most. So after not studying for so long. With a new resolve, i shall make the best of my present , keep the future in mind, Plan for the future and last but not least. Live for myself. Plan 1 Study hard for MST Plan 2 EXCERCISE to keep fit! So as to not waste medical resouces and medication. Cheers to a healthy lifestyle=D Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 5:25 PMrandom
This morning i had somewhat of an onset of Asthma. Its my Sister's birthday today. I feel bad not being able to celebrate it with her. I tried to hold the Asthma back as far as i could but in the end i cried because i just suddenly felt like a burden cause it was such a happy day and i had to have an asthma attack. When mummy asked me why i just didn't want to explain anything. I just wanted my sister to go to her fav K box and sing so i wasn't reluctant to go there just that i wasn't feeling very well so maybe i didn't look too happy. But this incident did teach me something . That i should stop taking everything as my fault and don't feel as if i'm responsible for everything. Cause i'm not. Like today. I shouldn't have cried. I DIDN'T ask for an attack. And the late night sleeping that might have caused it? I dunno. I guess i was thinking about tons of stuff bahs. HAHA. I had to sort it out if not i cannot sleep. I realised one thing. Only i can help myself. If i was to know what was my inner self i had to search for it myself. And i didn't have a choice. Because i am such a person. I need to find out my inner voice. Sure i enjoy each present moment and enjoy my sweet treasure of past memories but sometimes things happen and i get to know myself more and more. And then i realise there's so much more about me i don't know. I am my biggest mystery. It feels sweet to be alive. I should't cry. There are many things to learn. Like to learn to be stronger. I'm growing each day. Learning to be stronger. Someday i'll learn when to keep my tears and when to let it out. Someday i shall find my balance=D Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 4:51 PMSunday, June 21, 2009
Redang Part1.1
   These are some pictures taken before we headed for the beach. Ting yu is up up and away! Hui Fen and i trying to make a heart shape. LOLS. Not bad lah. Wanted to upload Hui Fen and Lynn and Ting Yu de but couldn't squeeze it in. ARGHH..  Me wearing my SP black shirt. I love that shirt. I thought i lost it forever. But i found it again!! We were going to look for a place to put our stuff. And my photographer was Ting Yu!  Hui Fen trying to act Hip Hop! LOLS. She coup the hat from You Yi de lol.  YAY! My Star Formation! Finally! HAHA. Using legs. In Redang waters!! hehex! Phtogrpahed by me!kk tired le. I post more pictures next time. HAHA. Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 12:50 AMFriday, June 19, 2009
Redang Part 1
 Back from Malaysia Redang! went with a bunch of sweeties. Hui Fen, Lynn, Pearl, Katherine, Ting Yu, You Yi and Wilson!! It was a super long journey. 16 hours on the road. =D I shared a room with Hui Fen and You Yi. I'm so gonna upload the pictures. ^^ 14th June. 8+ pm. Met the whole bunch of sweeties. Saw You Yi first. She was carrying a small bag. Stun tio! why go Redang bring so little thing. Shocked!But its cuz she left her other bag with the rest of the people. LOL=.=" Anyways we headed down to Golden Mile Tower. We walked to and fro in front of the tower without knowing that was the tower. Funny lol. HAHA.All of us feel cheated. Later we met Hui Fen who cabbed down to the tower cause she couldn't meet us at the station. She look like air stewardess. Elegant and high class. HAHA, With the scarf around her. LOLS. I wear Singapore Polytechnic Black shirt. HAHA. Got contrast when stand beside her. WAHHAHA. Our next problem was we couldn't find WTS.When we finally found it we feel cheated again. Cause the place is just in front of us again. We walk one big round to come back to where we left off. The name not the same de lol. Cheated. HAHA But anyways there was a jam at the causeway.Our dear bus was 45 minutes late. Couldn't blame bus-y cause the jam wasn't his fault. BUT next time BU KE YI LE WOR!. HAHAHA. I feel so childish.  You see the picture here? This was taken while i was peeing. Win liao lol. Never wait for me. WAHAHA. But nice right! hehe. This is in the toliet after passing Singapore Customs. Everyone say Cheeze!! CHEEZE!! Reminds me of Meng Xi HAHA. The Bus ride was a long and cold one. Really feel very cold. The aircon was freezing me. I only brought my cardigan along. Super Duper Ultra cold. Maybe without the ultra la. In the end i couldn't take it i took out my towel to provide me some warmth. Thanks towel! My towel is cute. It has rabbits and flowers and is a sweet yellow in colour. I'm so childish, But i just like my towel! Upon reaching the jetty we had to take a 1.5 hour ferry ride to Redang! I was famished! Saw lotsa coconut trees along the way. Wooden and concrete one storey houses dotted the sides of the roads. A bit like doll houses. There eateries were more like same restaurants rather than food courts or hawker centres like in Singapore.  This is when we reached the jetty! This is pearl! isn't she sweet! =D Smile sweetheart! HAHA . Me pinching my nose in the bg. AH CHOO. BUT its not H1N1. Its the aircon! Ta dah! Bejaya Beach Resort. A bit outta the way but still ok! HAHA. Nice right! the architecture. Serene would love it. You yi kept snapping pictures like nobody's business.    These are more of the exterior of the resort.     The two pictures you see here on the right are those taken from the business centre.There really is a treasury of books. The two pictures on the left were taken when we were deciding on a snokerling trip. Cause we didn't follow a tour. It was a free and easy trip. Thankfully Wilson was there to take care of us 7 girls. Arigatoo Gozamasu!     This is our hotel room. Really nice ya. HAHA. Hello Hui Fen! Dun peek at ppl taking bath la! The toliet had a bathtub and a shower, You see the furthest right picture. I slept in that bed. Close to the toliet. The windows can be opened at will. Tempted to open when they bathing. NO LA. Joking. I like guys. Ok i gonna separate the day's event into another post! HAHA The beach one! Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 10:06 PMWednesday, June 10, 2009
treasure=D
Happy cause i got to pray to Buddha and although i wasn't really focused, i'm still happy i went. During the prayer i had headaches and some breadthing difficulties. Really wanted to go back to the hotel. HAHA. but i guess all these are obstacles. Training for the mind and faith. Anyways feeling terrible about the what i saw. Saw a lot of suffering which i dun intend to rewrite it here. Because most people already noe what kind of suffering i 'm talking about. But seeing it first hand so near to you is something of a novel experience. Staying at P2 , near a residential area, you could really see the difference. Dirty cramped and smelly alleys and run down dirty old buildings. Polluted brown water trickled down the streets and the smell of petroleum filled the air. Beggars dotted the streets and it seemed like it was part of their city landscape. The hotel seemed like a safety haven for me then. It was like looking at all the suffering at ur doorstep while sitting on a some comfory sofa. There was a sense of helplessness and sadness that kinda consumed me those few days. I dreaded walking down the roads not because it was smelly or dirty, but cux of how bad living conditions could be. Guess its normal there but it doesn seem normal to me at all. Beggars were seriously cripped.One even lied on the pavement near a highway. Half of this body wasn't even there. I guess it might be a syndicate or something cux like he couldn't have lied like that on the ground like that himself. Someone prob put him them to beg. He was dirty and unkempt. Holding a bowl up for people to drop some coins into it. I reckon the money doesn go to him but the syndicate that prob gives him only enough to survive. Just a mere existence for him to be used as a tool to garner sympathy so that people would give him some money. If he doesn get enough money he may be brutally beaten. He also has parents and a family. People who care for him. He may be from a loving family. Maybe he was kidnapped and his poor parents cannot find him. Maybe they miss him. Maybe he was sold by his parents to the syndicate, There is just too many maybes. I didn quite see him when i walked along the pavement. It was dark and the pavement was relatively narrow. Many people bypassed him. Some gave him some money, some tripped over him and just quickly walked off. It must have felt terrible to be ignored. No one bothers about your existence . Some pity you for that moment and then forget about you. Nevertheless he begs and there is the will to live on what i see as a meaningless life. But life is precious isn't it. Water finds its own level just like every man finds his worth and place in life. Understands his contributions to the world. I almost tripped on this beggar and i ran. It was a painful sight to see. I was silent for the rest of the journey.Either that or i didn't know what i was saying anyway. The next day i went back to the same pavement, the beggar wasn't there anymore. The rest of the days i saw more beggars. Mostly handicapped. Like the legs or hands weren't even there anymore. It was such a common sight it became distrubing.Children were begging. People were laying a thin sheet and selling cheap stuff.Some screaming their heads off, some on wheelchairs , some just looking dazed, 7.30pm- overhead bridge . A mother was carrying her child. asleep, looking sick. It was cold and windy. My dad gave my sister some money to donate. 11plus pm- roadside. We were shopping for clothes. But my mind wasn't really there. Saw that hey! the make shift roadside stalls at night was all located near lamposts and i remembered seeing all those dark roadside stalls on the way back to th hotel.I realised that they used the light from the lamposts to light up their stalls! how clever, but also how poor they are. Its been 2 days since i came back. The helplesssness is still there. Nagging at me. Dun really noe what i can offer. Its hard to just forget what i saw. Jin hao say vv fast forget de. Wun sad tt long. Wow. imgaine how short can one's emphaty be.its quite true.U can help that person once den forget him.feel saint for that moment. But u can't really make a difference i guess.. After the toil of exams comes on i prob really nt feel anything liao. ( Life goes on). Its sad to noe one will always be forgotton after a while. Feel like so sad. Though its not my fault. Walked a lot this trip. Wanted to see for myself... see more. Not sit inside the taxi n see nothing. Save money n my family from traffic jam 2=P study hard ba. So that a difference can be made=D Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 11:58 PMTuesday, June 9, 2009
TT
Knew many things that i might have rather not known. Affected my thinking a lot these days. As in not at this point of time. Woke up on the last day feeling really sore. I clutched my pendant on the plane as a form of comfort but i think i accidentally dropped it. Now i feel really sore. And my parents think i'm weird. I kinda think so too. Like even though i was very sad it wasn't an excuse for me to clutch the pendant and lose it. I 'm quite sure i put it in my bag. But its not there, Now i feel really bad. I didn't try to explain anything. Cux its really my fault. Now i really wanna sit in front my altar table and cry. Sometimes i'm struggling to find my worth in life. I'm always making mistakes and i really do try to avoid them. But it seems the more i want to change for better i always screw up. Screwing up makes me a better person later on in life but the process is painful. This time would be a good lesson learnt. I needa be more focused. Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 9:29 PMSaturday, May 23, 2009
COST!
Been lost since week 3 of school. Can't focus. Skipped GEMS as well. Didn;t accompany Mayling to class. Felt really bad, but she was understanding. HAHA. Can keep her till she find BF den gotta let her go le. WAHAHA. Like jia nu er like tt. LOL. Anyways since i decided to skip gems so i studied cost with Aini( love you!=D) , Nisa, Amirah and Sharifah at FC5. They're a bunch of really nice people. My class generally is. HAHA. So anyways was studying cost. But nothing went in. Thank god i put my heart n soul into doing tutorials. But i think its gone case. I studied only yesterday , on the train and during the 2 hr break. But i ended up sleeping in the quiet zone of the library. HAHA. Think i really screwed this paper. I just finished it on time. We got to sit beside each other during the paper. How cool! Like its nt the norm ma. But also no time to cheat. No wonder they so nice let us sit beside each other. HAHA. not that i would if i had the chance la. Like so dui bu qi urself. And i wanna say! I did my Cost tutorial on wed! AND i got all wrong!! SO SAD. HAHA.Wasted my time doing them=.=" Saw Jia yi on the train. Then saw Sam and Yuqi on the way to school. HAHA. Super funny. They also skipped FACC lecture. Today everyone tried to get clues from Popo. But he wudn give any. Class end quite early today. Actualli i think this post is so meaningless. LOLS. I gonna watch absolute boyfreind! Cya again bloggy! Labels: SchOol
her sweet memory was written @ 1:37 AMMonday, May 18, 2009
5 phrases=)
Move on.Remember. Treasure. Cherish and change for the better=) Smiles!=D Labels: smiles
her sweet memory was written @ 2:04 AMSunday, May 17, 2009
refelction=D
On the MRT train, its always easy to see pregnant women, familes with young children, mothers carrying babies.. Each and every little child i see makes my heart fill with joy and peace. Seeing their parents showering children with love. Its interesting to see how parents educate their children. Some shower encouragement, some give hard facts, some are strict and firm. And then you see what kind of children they become. I thought about it, its always to enocourage a child. Only then will he grow up with a happy and confident soul. A child's smile is ever so precious. Cox its never fake. And here i see children well loved by parents , i think of the really poor kids in Siberia that i saw on History Channel. Many are orphans, often tortured by state institutions. Lack of food. Being a orphange not state run is considered fortunate... And i really would like to take some time to appreciate my family. Treasure my parents who didn throw me away. My parents for trying their best... Sometimes i hope i'll c my guardian angel somewher. Maybe in my dreams.. to tell me everythings gonna be ok. But look at the kids like that... sometimes i wonder why.. why does a human being so innocent have to go through this. When life gets real tough will people support each other through or try to outlive each other.Can you really blame them. Will even close relatives be like that. I hope i never come to this. I learnt in this period that its easier to forgive someone than forgive yourself ... cux of the guilt... Labels: Random
her sweet memory was written @ 12:18 AMSaturday, May 16, 2009
Mistakes
Above all i have changed a lot. Since Sec school to JC to poly. Many of my friends felt choosing poly when i could have continued on in JC2 last yr , was a wasted choice. But i now i really think i made a good choice. Time flies i've learnt a lot from SP. Mistakes made, friendships forged, frustrations in CSCC all made me a better person. Throughout my SP poly life i somehow feel that i don't dare to face it when my friends are really nice to me.My class, my cca friends, sec sch frens, ... Its been a long time since i felt anything was real. And i really hurt a impt friend of mine cux of my insensitivity. So long since it mattered to anyone. Now when it really does ,i failed to see it. These few days i thought: i was really sad when someone treated me that way in the past. It became such a habit. I didn feel anything anymore. And then i realised people and situations have changed. So many things to realise.... true or false care for me? Where were they when i wanted them to be there. Was i expecting too much. Its nature to be selfish, that 's what people always say. But really beautiful r/s are not. It can happen. u just have to noe when. Smiling through all the way in a conversation i had a a shop, a random lady asked me to let people noe what i am thinking. A bit magical. I just didn c the point. I didn like pulling ppl in with my messy thoughts. Every point in life is a learning spot. Theres always something new to learn. Pasts to let go, memories to cherish... People in my life i will tresure even more now..=) Labels: SchOol
her sweet memory was written @ 10:22 PMFriday, April 3, 2009
zhen shi de
I am seriously PISSED. I wish a gurdian angel would come down and help my family. N maybe another one to help me face my childish fears. Labels: pissed.
her sweet memory was written @ 10:47 PMWednesday, March 18, 2009
Lost and gone.
The same thing that gave me hope shattered it. Sometimes i feel a little sad that things have turned out the way it has. Sometims i think of the times we spent together.. Was it just a dream? Its just pointless already. Now i really want someone to hold me tightly. Is there really nothing that will nv stay the same. Even somethin like this? I really thought it was something beautiful Now all that is left is memories and photos. Labels: something close to my heart
her sweet memory was written @ 12:05 AMSunday, March 8, 2009
SMU's open house
But then... Class participation is realy important as well as brains.. i'm nt sure if i have even either 1. Can i really be a student there? LOLS. hahha. Well 2 years more to learn n grow in Poly. I'll grab every opportunity to learn n grow. To express my views n be outspoken. ( No matter what CSCC has given be a chance to explore the outspoken part of me)-- i'm sure i can go farther. Jia you stef! Dare to dream n believe! Weakness that i should change: Be more self disciplined Be more self driven Always be optimistic Treasure people around me more Dare to love my dream. Today i heard about how stressful Uni life can be. I'm really hoping i can go to Uni . Either NTU or SMU's school of accountancy. I have another dream besides being an accountant. But i have the time to dream... I shall find out more during my 2 years more with SP. Speech , occupational therapist and accountancy.. i'll see what's my calling. Finding out more during my breaks and stuff. haha. Life can be beautiful if you have a goal, a dream. It feels good to be young, to have the power to fly and dream. I used to think as we grow older dreams get farther.Its true.. but now i believe it to a lesser extent. Your dream is only as big as you think it is. Believe in your dreams and at least try b4 deciding what's the next best step=D Until then i shall study real hard , get a good GPA. Labels: =D
her sweet memory was written @ 8:50 PM |
